The Golden Child

We are happy children, suddenly we grow up and become depressed and miserable. But sometimes our depression is inevitable. It could very well have come about by the influence our greatest supporters had on us. You see support, faith and love; these things are food for the soul, but they’re poison as well. They are food only when purely given without expectations. However they’re deathly poisonous when given out with subliminal messages that announce demanded performance. 

And though an adolescent’s mind may yet be ignorant of how the world works, their soul however understands clearly, the messages of the subliminal. The soul is well able to differentiate a trade from a gift. And so when a soul understands from the subliminal, that soul food isn’t free: support isn’t free; faith in them isn’t free; love and attention isn’t free: they imagine that understand what sort of performance soul satisfaction would require of them. It is at that moment that the innocent soul is poisoned and set up for depression. A bright future had been sold to them when it could have been given to them free. At that moment they bought only a taste of what could become a bright future — a future in which they would be happy, loved, appreciated and satisfied. 

They go about life with this burden because their friends and/or parents continued to trade them soul food for performance. They had to perform to be loved. They had to be worthy of attention. They had to do something worthwhile to be praised. They couldn’t be happy in soul if someone else wasn’t pleased with them; because happiness wasn’t free — no soul food in life was. Or so they thought. They grow by the day more enslaved to harsh requirements. More depressed they grow. More angry they grow. “If I could just get it right, perhaps this soul would glow” says the golden child. At some point in time, a bright tomorrow was sold to them in exchange for their happy today. And so they strive, looking for the perfect taste of the first meal they bought when they first knew their souls. Through doing and being everything, nothing tastes the same. For the golden child knows not that what is free outlasts that which is bought. Where is the bright future they were promised? Their souls have starved and toiled to attain that which is abundant and free. Yet they knew it not. They tried mask upon mask, seeking the image which was perfect and worthy enough to attain that which is abundant and free. Yet they knew it not. The wretched soul is never satisfied with the payback of it’s work because it isn’t seeking to receive the things which are abundant and free, for free. A demand was laid upon them when they thought they knew of matters which they were ignorant of. And still they think they know. And with their believed understanding, they imagine that it is them who are failures — not trying enough; not good enough; not worthy enough to receive that which is abundant and free. Deeper and deeper they go — in bitterness they grow: resenting those whose faces happen to glow. They imagine all happiness to be the result of hard work. They imagine all who are celebrated to have attained the widely promised “bright future.” 

None of them think to stop working to attain that which is abundant and free; and so that which is abundant and free continues to evade them. For if it could be worked for and bought, it wouldn’t be free. If it were to be competed for, it would mean it wasn’t abundant. And so with greater work, the souls grow more hungry. In trying to attain happiness, people grow bitterly depressed. The poison from adolescence killed their understanding; and it advances to kill the only light they have left in their souls — hope.

So you see how many times our ambitions have not come to us pure. They’re not self generated. They might as well have been forced on us! We might have displayed certain talents when we were children which gained us recognition from our parents and/or friends. And with recognition came special attention; with special attention came expectations, and with expectations came the seeds of pressure which were to grow into inevitable misery and depression at some point in our lives. Realize that you need no one’s approval to live bright and happy. It’s not soul food due to you on a long awaited day, it’s food for you everyday! You do not need approval to live satisfied and in peace. These things bind you to depression, and depression is evidence that you’re a living slave. Indeed, the reason people frown at depression is because deep down somewhere in their souls, the fact is buried down there that they’re supposed to live like kings/queens — happy and cared for.

You’re children of God! And God who cares for you has freely provided these good things without number. Now the child who would not feast upon them like a prince/princess would have no portion in it. You would never be satisfied by that which is meant for the children of God, if you’re attempting to buy it as a slave. The starvation which comes shortly after is that which must bring you to understanding. And when understanding is attained, abundance is gained along with the power to remain satisfied. For It is only right that the king suffers until he realizes that he is not a slave.